Peace of mind
by grilledjellyfish
Summary: Nami's behaving strangely and Sanji is there to help her... NamixSanji


Author's Notes:  
Alright, I know I have another fic here, but this just sprang to my mind and wouldn't leave me alone.  
Gonna continue the other one soon, though.  
  
Please be gentle! I'm in a very difficult mood right now, out of which this small ficlet resulted... and now RxR!!!  
  
--------------------  
  
"Ya alright?"  
Blinking, Nami averted her eyes from the newspaper in her hands and looked at the owner of the voice.  
  
"Why, Luffy? What's up?" She asked back, a frown appearing on her forehead.  
"Robin was talking about a secret treasure on that island."  
  
Frown deepening, Nami's eyes flickered back and forth between Robin and Luffy, bewilderment evident in them. She really didn't know what Luffy was implying on...  
  
"So?"  
"Chopper, maybe you should take a look at her... she's probably ill." Usopp joked, gaining wide grins from both Luffy and Zoro.  
  
"Hey! Why don't ya just leave her alone!" The cook exclaimed angrily, finger pointed accusingly at his captain.  
  
Exaling exaggeratedly, Luffy turned back to where Robin was still sitting with the book about the island with the treasure in her hands.  
She had been following the conversation of the friends with a smile, until Sanji had stood up, telling them to stop. His behaviour had surprised her a bit, because under normal circumstances, even Sanji would have made a comment about Nami's lack of reaction at hearing of any sort of money.  
  
"I'll go down into my room... gonna draw some maps, so please don't disturb me until lunch."  
With that, the red-head got up from the bench and walked out of the conference room, her clueless friends watching her until the door fell close behind her.  
  
----------  
  
In her room, Nami made sure the door was locked and a curtain was drawn across the bull's eye before she sat down on her bed, folding her hands in her lap.  
For some minutes she just stared at them, lids heavy as she tried to hold them open.  
  
"Nami?!" Startled, she looked up, gaze wandering to the locked door.  
  
"Yeah? Didn't I tell you to stay away?!"  
"I know, Nami, but Robin asked for the Lock Pose!"  
  
Nami closed her eyes for a long moment, unfolded her hands and stood up. She took off the device from around her wrist and made her way slowly over to the stairs leading to the door. Before she turned the key and allowed Usopp to enter, she inhaled deeply and forced a small smile onto her lips, hoping it wouldn't look to artificial.  
  
Pushing the door open, she didn't give Usopp a chance to say something, pushing the Lock Pose into his opened palm. Then she gave him a nod and closed the door hastily into his face.  
  
"Phew..." Leaning back against the wooden wall, Nami slowly slid down the smooth surface until she could sit on the first step. Her head fell back, her right temple resting against the door frame.  
  
Eyes barely open, they roamed over the furniture in her room, when they suddenly found the small framed picture standing on her desk, maps and books lying scattered around it.  
A sad smile appeared on her face as she got up and walked down the stairs, heading towards the table.  
  
Carefully she took the picture and allowed her thump to sweap across the laughing face of her mother.  
"Bellemere..." She whispered, looking down at the woman smoking a cigarette and petting her daughters' heads affectionately.  
  
Nami felt a lump rise in her throat and tears started to prickle at the back of her eyes.  
Angry about her own sentimentality, she covered her eyes with one hand and gulped soundly as she fought for composure.  
  
Today was not a normal day for the young woman.  
Exactly ten years ago, Arlong had killed her beloved mother, having destroyed Nami's family with one bullet... one bullet and he had taken Nami's innocence and childhood...  
  
"Dammit!"  
Fingers digging hard into the frame of the picture, her knuckles turned white as anger and grief clouded Nami's mind, more and more salty moisture gathering under her closed lids.  
  
Lips quivering, she walked over to her bed and laid down onto her belly, her face burried into a large cushion that had once belonged Bellemere. The dark blue material still wore her smell and Nami inhaled deeply, the memories seemingly flooding through opened gates just like the tears she couldn't prevent from falling anymore.  
  
"Bellemere!"  
  
----------  
  
"Supper!" Sanji called, while he was setting the table for the hungry gang... which was currnetly trying to enter the room at the same time.  
  
"Lemme through!! I'm hungry!!!" Luffy screamed at the top of his lungs, the noise hurting in Sanji's ears.  
"You sure as hell aren't the only one here!!" Zoro yelled back, his face bathed in an angry red as he tried to get Luffy's foot out of his stomach.  
  
"But I'm the captain!!"  
Opening his mouth, Usopp was just about to voice his own protest, when suddenly arms grew out of the door frame, hands taking hold of him and apparently of Luffy and Zoro as well and pulled them out of their awkward position.  
  
The three men fell onto the floor in a uncoordinated heap of limbs and everbody tried to get up, intending to be the first one, while the three pirates tried to keep each other down at the same time.  
  
Walking past the fighting men, Robin sat down onto her respective chair and waited for Chopper and Sanji to do the same. She knew from experience that the battle of Usopp, Luffy and Zoro could last another hour, before they would finally notice the lack of food in their stomachs and would stop with their childish behaviour.  
  
"Uhm, Sanji?"  
The cook stopped in the middle of chewing on some vegetables, and looked at Chopper. "Huh?"  
"Where's Nami?... She hasn't been around all day and has already missed lunch... shouldn't we get her?"  
  
Gulping down the beans and potatoes, Sanji gave Chopper a slight smile.  
"No. I brought her something to eat and drink earlier that day. And if she needs anything else, she knows who to ask, right? We should just leave her alone today."  
  
Nodding, the little deer started to eat the mixed salad, a content grin covering the better part of his face. His eyes fell onto his three friends and so he watched Luffy extend his arm to grab Zoro, who had somehow managed to escape the fight and get up.  
  
"Argh!" Was all the swords fighter could utter as he flew backwards, landing unceremoniously on Usopp's back.  
  
"Idiots." Sanji muttered, shaking his head.  
"What's with her anyway?"  
  
Startled, Sanji averted his eyes from his plate and looked at Robin. Though she had asked the question, she didn't seem to be intending to look at him any time soon and kept on eyeing the ongoing fight to her right with unbroken attention.  
  
"I honestly don't know... she seems a bit off, but I don't know why."  
"Hmm." Was all she replied when she lifted her glass of wine and took a sip.  
  
----------  
  
'I need some fresh air'  
Pursing her lips, Nami got up from her bed and walked over to the mirror integrated into her cupboard.  
  
A loud sigh escaped her lips as she looked at her reflection.  
Red rims under her eyes and a pinkish nose were silent reminders of what she had been doing the last hours in here... a testament of her weakness and feelings, she wasn't willing to admit to her friends.  
  
Inhaling deeply, she grabbed some worn-out jogging pants and pulled them on.  
One arm sweapt across her features, wiping off the last moisture on her cheeks and chin and hopefully the last evidence of her momentarily loss of composure.  
  
Again she looked at her reflection and put on a false smile, which didn't quite reach her large, red eyes.  
  
Slowly she made her way across her room, heading for the door that would lead her outside... where she would probably have to face some unpleasant questions about her strange behaviour.  
But Nami just needed to get outside, inhale some unused air and get back in, where she would hide the rest of the day.  
  
Tomorrow this whole nightmare would be over and another year of peace, where the ghost of the darkest part of her past would slumber deep in the back of her mind, would begin.  
She merely had to survive the next few hours...  
  
----------  
  
"Hey, Zoro! What's up?!" Luffy called out as he walked out of the conference room where he had just nicked some meat out of the well-guarded fridge.  
  
The green-haired man turned around, a pained and horrified expression covering his pale face.  
"N-nothing... just met Nami, that's all."  
  
"Oh, really?... What'd she say?" Frowning, Luffy jumped down the bridge, landing right in front of the other man, who appeared to be shaken to his bones.  
"Believe me... ya don't want me to repeat 'that'."  
  
The warning tone in Zoro's voice didn't have the supposed effect on the rubber-boy and with every second of forced silence on Zoro's part, Luffy's eyes widened, his curiosity reaching a new record height.  
  
"Alright... but don't say I didn't warn ya!" Zoro said angrily as the annoyance about Luffy's unnerving stare got the better part of him... "She just came out of her room and being the damn idiot I am, I had to ask her why she was doing all that strange crap today... she looked at me with cold eyes and said she had her menstruation." A shudder went down his spine at the mere memory.  
  
Craning his neck, Luffy's eyes narrowed as he apparently thought about what Zoro had just told him.  
And finally, with the innocence of a little child, he asked the one question that was burning on his tongue.  
"Why's she having a mensuration?"  
  
Jaw agape, Zoro's eyes went wide.  
He wasn't intending to explain Luffy what exactly Nami's problem was and tried hard to ignore the boring, inquisitive look, Luffy was giving him as he sauntered past his captain, trying to look like nothing had happened.  
  
"Wait! What's that mens-whatever!? Tell me!!" Luffy yelled, following Zoro inside the ship.  
  
----------  
  
Closing her eyes for a second, Nami took a calming breath.  
She was really glad, she had been able to put Zoro off with that explanation... he was just like most other men. As soon as the word 'period' fell, they were too perplexed and uncomfortable with the situation to do anything else but excuse themselves and run away.  
  
Opening her eyes, Nami looked across her shoulder to where Zoro had just entered the ship, a way too curious Luffy on his heels... poor guy.  
Now that she had made sure that she was alone, Nami carefully walked across the deck towards the mast, gripping the first rung and pulled herself up.  
  
Nami needed some peace and silence and knew she wouldn't get that down here...  
  
----------  
  
"NO!! That damn moron of a wanne-be swords fighter has first watch today!"  
"Sorry, Sanji, but the plan says that you're first and then Zoro."  
  
Seething, Sanji grabbed a new cigarette pack and stormed out of the boy's room, walking past a smugly grinning man, who had stopped in the middle of a push-up to watch Sanji's losing battle against their 'watch-plan' he may have changed a bit earlier that day...  
  
As soon as the cook had reached the upper deck, a cigarette had found its way into his mouth.  
"Damn that man... gonna kick him senseless if he sleeps through his watch this time." He grumbled as he climbed up the mast towards the crow's nest.  
  
When Sanji looked up, he could see the full moon shine brightly down at him... at least it wasn't pitch-black tonight. He wasn't comfortable up there when he could barely see the bow of the ship.  
  
Finally he reached the crow's nest and jumped up onto the rim of the construction, his boots dangling twenty meter above the deck.  
  
----------  
  
"Wh-...?" Startled, Nami opened her eyes, a blinking-fit overcoming her as the tiredness of her lids threatened to overpower her once more.  
One of her hands came up to rub the sleep out of her eyes when she noticed something lying draped over her left shoulder.  
  
"Sorry, if I've woken you up."  
Frowning, the young woman turned towards the owner of the voice.  
  
Sanji was sitting on the rim of the crow's nest, arms crossed in front of his chest and white smoke ascending up from a red glowing cigarette. He wasn't looking at her and kept on gazing up at the clear sky and the uncountable stars covering the firmament.  
  
Nami noticed the slight chill and brought her hand up to her shoulder to pull the black jacket tighter around herself... Sanji's black jacket!  
  
"Why..."  
"You were trembling a bit and I don't need it." He answered her unfinished question with a low, gentle voice.  
  
It was then that Nami noticed that her legs were covered with a bright red blanket, Sanji had probably brought up here for his watch... and now she had both his jacket 'and' the blanket while Sanji was freezing, though she knew he'd never admit that anywhere near her.  
  
"Thanks." She whispered and snuggled deeper into the woolen blanket.  
"No prob."  
  
For a long moment, the two friends were silent, the only noise being rough waves crashing against the ship and the occasional sound Sanji made when exhaling a lung of smoke.  
  
Nami brought her arms around her chest, hugging herself and buried her nose in Sanji's jacket, inhaling deeply as she closed her eyes and nearly succumbed to the wonderful warm feeling that spread out in limbs that were numb from the time she had slept outside in the cold without any protection.  
  
After a while, the silence got uncomfortable and Nami felt obliged to do something. After all, she shouldn't be up here, getting onto his nerves, while he had to concentrate on his surroundings.  
  
"Sanji... do you mind, if I stay here for a while longer?" She asked tentatively, never looking up to make eye contact. Therefore she couldn't see the frown that appeared on Sanji's forehead as he looked down at her small form.  
  
"I'm always glad when you're near me, my precious Nami." He replied softly, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.  
  
A slight blush rose in her cheeks and Nami hoped he wouldn't see it... blushing about such a simple statement wasn't after all a typical Nami-like behaviour.  
But on the other hand, today was no typical day for her neither.  
  
Taking the cigarette butt out from between his lips, Sanji threw it over the crow's nest, knowing that it would land in the roaring sea somewhere to his left. He then turned slowly around to where Nami was leaning with her back against the side of the nest.  
  
He couldn't help himself and started grinning brightly at the sight in front of him.  
Wrapped up in a blanket and his jacket, Nami sat to his right, her legs drawn up and her chin resting on her knees. A slight flush covered her cheeks and her large dark eyes caught the bright light of the moon.  
  
"Like an angel." Sanji mused, not really noticing that he had just uttered that out loud.  
Looking up, Nami's eyes found his. But instead of averting his gaze from hers, his smile softened.  
  
Then it was silent and after a very long minute, Nami finally looked away, eyes roaming over the horizon. But not as aimlessly as Sanji may have thought, because after some moments, Nami's eyes brightened.  
  
"You see that star?" She pointed at a brightly shining star.  
"Yeah." Sanji nodded solemnly, one curly brow rising in confusion.  
  
"It's Bellemere's star."  
This time, the blond man didn't answer, he merely folded his arms and waited for Nami to continue. He wasn't intending to push her into saying anything about this topic.  
  
Sighing, Nami finally continued.  
"After Arlong had killed her, I was locked up most of the time in that room... I couldn't see our house or the cliff with her grave. All I could see through the window was the ocean and the endless horizon." Taking a breath, she could suddenly feel tears burning in her eyes.  
  
"One night, when I was doing some research for a new map, I looked out of that window again and there it was. A star that shone brightly in all colors of the rainbow. It almost seemed, as if it twinkled down at me... " She finished mid-sentence, her voice thick as a lump rose in her dry throat.  
  
Nami didn't want to cry in front of him... she just wanted to give him a piece of her mind, share some memories to make them less painful.  
  
"You know... when I was stranded on that damn island where I very nearly starved, I used to watch the stars as well... Every time I wanted to give up, I looked up at them and suddenly I wasn't so..."  
"... alone anymore." Nami finished his train of thoughts with an almost tired smile.  
  
Inhaling deeply, Sanji noticed the absence of a cigarette and was just about to fish one out of his trouser pocket when he heard a sob from his right.  
Eyes soft, the cig was forgotten as he edged closer towards her, slowly sitting down beside Nami.  
  
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't cry like some lil girl and..."  
"No. If it makes you feel better, then it's alright. Don't feel sorry for being human."  
  
At his words, Nami couldn't hold the sobs back anymore. Head in her hands, the tears cascaded down her cheeks and chin, falling onto the blanket and the jacket and vanishing in the dark material, leaving a wet stain behind.  
  
Sanji couldn't take it anymore and slung one arm around her trembling shoulder, pulling her body closer towards him. Her head came to rest on his left shoulder and soon he could feel the first salty tears fall onto his white shirt, the moisture cool against his skin.  
  
After a while, Nami's sobs ceased to an occasional sniff and she finally lifted her head off Sanji, looking straight into his visible eye.  
  
"Thank you, Sanji."  
"I'm always there for you, Nami. You know that, right?"  
Nami nodded shortly and wiped away a tear drop that hadn't decided yet whether to fall down her chin.  
  
"I've always wondered... when I'm going to see Bellemere again. I miss her a great deal, but ever since you're here, it seems as if she's not that far away... as if she's right here."  
Listening to her, Sanji felt a slight shiver spread throughout his upper body.  
  
Nami felt his body tense slightly and frowned.  
Why had she just said that? And did she really mean it?  
  
Was Sanji the real reason, that she had been able to continue her life after Arlong had been defeated? He had been given her all of his attention right from the start, had done anything to make her as happy as possible... Had gone even so as far as to be willing to sacrifice himself for her...  
  
And suddenly she realized that Sanji had taken in the empty place , Bellemere had left behind when Arlong had killed her.  
  
Eyes wide, Nami turned round to where Sanji was leaning against the nest's side. He wasn't looking at her and for a moment, Nami merely stared at him.  
  
That got his attention and when he turned his head around to face her, she suddenly brought her hands up. He could feel her warm palms make contact with his cold cheeks and was at first to shocked to react.  
  
Looking straight into his eye, Nami had to smile when she felt his head lean into her hands.  
She had felt the sudden need to touch him, to gain his attention and now that they were both looking at each other, she realized that there was something she'd always wanted to do...  
  
Surprised, Sanji felt her right hand move away from his skin and watched as it wandered to where his hair covered his left eye.  
Her hand hesitantly moved under the blond strand of hair that always seemed to hide his other eye and carefully brushed it out of his view and behind his left ear.  
  
"I just noticed, that I've never seen both of your eyes." Nami explained with a small smile, while her eyes roamed over his face in obvious fascination.  
"Happy now?" He asked her with a large grin, eyes shining brightly and two quirky brows rising in unison.  
  
"Not if you're going to hide it again." She looked straight into his eyes, a serious look on her face. "If that makes you happy, my lovely Nami... no."  
  
Sighing, she felt another blush rise into the tips of her ears, painting them in a bright red.  
Not longer able to hold the eye contact, she averted her eyes and looked across the rim of the crow's nest to where her star was still shining brightly.  
  
Gazing down at her folded hands, Nami felt a cool breeze caress her skin and suddenly noticed that Sanji was still sitting there without much of a protection.  
  
Making up her mind, she lifted the blanket and carefully covered both his and her legs. She didn't give him a chance to protest and moved back to his shoulder, one arm sneaking behind his back and her cheek pressed against his upper arm. Feeling the warmth emit from his body, she snuggled closer.  
  
A content, happy sigh escaped Sanji's lips, as he pulled her tighter against his body, leaning his head down onto her soft hair.  
  
Maybe he wouldn't kill Zoro for manipulating the 'watch-plan' after all...  
  
--------------------  
  
FINIS!!  
  
This was a bit... uhm, I guess schmaltzy, would be the right word. But I'm quite sentimental at the moment and so don't care! And after all, don't we all wanne know what hides behind that blond strand of hair, huh? Well, Nami and I know it, hehehe... Don't forget to review!!! Thanx!  
Oh and Maren (my lil sis), the story is over, so please stop crying!! :') 


End file.
